I’ve got my parent’s van for the week and it seems determined to establish my status as The Local Cryptid by terrorizing an innocent 7-11 clerk.
…I might need to back up a bit.
My mother is an eminently sensible woman who knows herself well, and when The Plauge hit, she knew she’d need some sort of mentally and physically engaging craft project to keep herself from going insane and massacring the local zoning and water management boards (even if they have it coming). So she and Dad acquired a utility van and converted it into a camper van because while they love camping, they’re past the age where their joints and immune systems will tolerate sleeping on the cold ground in a nylon tent.
They did a terrific job of it and my mom taught herself woodworking and carpentry and now the van has it’s own cabinets, fold-away dining table, and removable queen-sized bed with memory foam mattress. My Dad was already a computer engineer, but he learned the dark magics of automotive software and electronics to install after-market backup cameras, a media player that would take a terabyte hard drive and a solar-powered battery and outlet so they could wake up and just turn on the kettle and griddle for breakfast without having to exit the van into a cold morning on an empty stomach.
Truly, the height of Camping Luxury.
My parents are both in their mid-seventies and my primary life goal is to be at least half as cool and hale as they are when I get old.
Anyway, they take it out at least a dozen times a year and it works fabulously, but, being as I am on good terms with my parents and also finishing the process of moving house, I’ve been borrowing it to move large and cumbersome objects that will not fit in the back of my equally lovely but minuscule Honda hatchback.
It’s a Great Van. Very easy and comfortable to drive. Stunningly good MPG for it’s size. The best cruise control I’ve ever had in a car.
It’s just also. Quirky. Mischievous, even.
—
If this van has a fault its that it bears the unfortunate affliction that all lightly used white utility vans have in that the combination of an utter lack of branding features and the large dent/scrape I accidentally put on it while trying to escape a Denny’s last Thanksgiving means that this vehicle is one addition of a Badly Spray-Painted “FREE CANDY” on the side away from being the sort of vehicle you see in an edgy horror movie.
my villain origin story is that i grew up on so many cartoons w friendship as the centerpiece and like. friend groups composed of 5+ people who all love each other dearly. and that does not exist in real life bitch
Riddler: So, Bruce- Batman: I told you, it’s Batman. Riddler: Oh, are we focusing on semantics? It bothers you, doesn’t it? Being called Bruce while you’re wearing the suit. Batman: I suppose.
i think this scene in its entirety is my favorite of new dream. the look of fear eugene has when rapunzel is in his arms and just the worry over losing his sunshine. i just can’t get over the way he looks at her when the kiss happens, he’s so in love with her, so protective and worried for raps. i cannot begin to describe how it makes me feel. :(
Batman Unburied and Riddler Secrets in the Dark Ruined Me
Because I desperately want an enemies to lovers book right now where one of them is *very* morally grey but also charismatic as hell and I am having a hell of a time feeding this need.
